10 EXCUSES PARENTS use NOT to talk to their Teens about SEX
- “If she or he wants to talk about sex, she will bring it up."
No, actually they probably won’t. Your silence about the subject could be sending the message of “approval".
- “It is just too embarrassing; I let them get that information from school.”
No, they will get some information from school but you as a parent are the most important influence in your teen’s life. Your opinions and ideas about sex will even affect them more than the media or their peers.
- “My teenager has no interest in dating or relationships, so she certainly isn’t thinking about sex.”
Wrong again, the typical teenager is very curious about sex, and if they don’t get any information from you, they will get it from their friends, the internet, and television.
- “I would feel like a hypocrite, when I was a teenager I made every mistake a person could make when it comes to sex”.
The best way to handle a situation like this is with honesty. Your teenager will respect you more for being truthful with them. Teenagers are not stupid and they can’t easily be fooled. They appreciate it when we are transparent with them. Just be honest and tell them why you regret some of the choices that you made, and the consequences of your choices.
- “I want this to be something that he or she figures out for herself- I am teaching my child to have an independent mind and make their own decisions, I will support them no matter what they decide.”
Teenagers need direction, that is why you are the parent and they are the child. You can encourage independence without being ignorant of some of the tough choices they are facing. By being a good listener and open and honest, you will have an open door to discuss some important topics.
- “I just don’t know how to start up the conversation, it is an awkward subject.”
Start by setting a time to just spend time together, then your relationship will grow stronger. One of most important aspects of your relationship is trust. It may be awkward at first, but the more you bring it up the easier it will become.
- “It’s too late, my son or daughter has already had sex.”
It is never too late to start talking to your teenager about sex; they will know that you care and that you are interested in all of the choices that they are making. You can start by asking important questions and analyze the choices that they are making.
- “I don’t really know how I feel about this subject.”
It is time for you to gather some information and make some decisions about where you stand on this issue and why. Teenagers don’t want to hear you say, “because I said so, that’s why”, they need to know where your opinions come from and what they are based on, they are depending on you as the parent to be a resource for them.
- “I’m a single parent, who is currently dating and I feel like a hypocrite because I’m not practicing what I preach.”
As a parent, your highest calling is to lead by example. The life that you are living in front of your teen speaks volumes. Consider the pros and cons of the lifestyle that you are choosing and ask yourself if you would want this for your child. Choose what is best for you, your teen will see this and be influenced by you. The reward will be significant!!
- “I can’t compete with the media influence that my teen is subject to, it’s everywhere!!”
As a parent you should be in tune with what kind of message the media is sending and try not to get angry or offended, rather use this as a tool to generate conversation - you might be surprised by the amount of communication this will spark.
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